November Holidays

Expression

Time to try my hand at vlogging/Youtube/video stuff. Hopefully my poetry translates well into a visual medium...







Toodles!

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters

If you read up on the original stories for most fairytales, they're often incredibly gruesome, gory, sexual, disturbing, or just flat out weird. You can thank the Grimm brothers, two German authors with wicked imaginations and amazing research skills, for a lot of the stories (albeit the rated G versions) you grew up hearing.

Extra crispy

The movie gets off to a wonderfully dark start, with the two small children being left in the woods for "unknown reasons" (It's part of the story, just have patience for the movie). They stumble upon, of course, a house made of candy. The witch occupying the house is less than friendly, however. The children are captured and force-fed magical candy, and then escape their bounds. After stabbing, clubbing, and roasting their first witch, the children apparently decide to make this their hobby. With their parents missing and a fairly large chip on their shoulder, the children create a whole new career path. A few credit pages and a montage later, the children have grown up, killing witches all along the way. 

When you lose the first fight, get a bigger gun.

As adults, the two travel the world hunting witches with oddly advanced weaponry (Jeremy Renner loves his ranged weapons) and a mysterious immunity to the witches magic. They happen upon a town where children are being taken in larger numbers, conveniently arriving three days before a holy day to the witches. The town's sherrif is doing an abysmal job of finding the witches, wrongly accusing women and losing men to the search. The mayor hires the siblings to investigate the abductions and to try and find the children, assuming there's anything left of them. 

It's always nice to see characters that have flaws. It makes them more relatable. It's hard to get connected to a person who always does the right thing, who always succeeds in their missions. Hansel and Gretel does a nice job of showing the two improvising on their witch hunts, making mistakes, and having exploitable weaknesses (Apparently the candy that Hansel was forced to eat as a child basically gave him magical diabetes).

With the size of that needle, and the frequency of the injection, it's a surprise he even has any thigh left

Visual: 5 out of 5
  The witches look great in their true forms, very primal and evil in appearance. There's a large amount of combat gore (especially when the troll is involved) that is well done. The environment is also quite vivid, reminding me of scenery from The Hobbit or other fantasy settings. It fits quite well for a fairytale adaptation.

Story: 5 out of 5
  Flawed heroes, a memorable story from your childhood, cool action with guns, crossbows, and magic. There's even a couple of romantic hooks and a loveable sidekick.

Overall:
  Fairytale remakes are very hit or miss, usually divided by the amount of money the movie has to use. With this being a higher funded production, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters falls into the "hit" category. Definitely worth a watch.


Toodles!

Prometheus

The Alien franchise has always been one that I have enjoyed watching (Though the newer ones have fallen far from the originals). One problem with the collection of movies is that they have not been made in chronological order. Prometheus is the prequel of the series.

After discovering a series of ancient artifacts depicting tall beings and a cluster of stars, a team of scientists locate a distant moon in the cluster that could support life. An expedition is funded and the team is sent lightyears away from earth to find out what is so important on this moon.

A very nice example of the CG effects in the movie

That head may or may not be to scale...

Upon arrival, the team discovers a structure that does not appear to be natural (God doesn't make work in straight lines). The team begins exploring and piecing together the events that occurred before their arrival. Extreme weather ends up stranding members of the expedition inside of the strange structure for several hours, and their presence inside sets something into motion.

With their discoveries creating more questions than answers, events quickly begin to spiral out of control. The history of what happened on the moon is pieced together, and the crew becomes divided on what the course of action should be.

This is what happens when you mess with the air conditioning

Visual: 4 out of 5
  The Alien franchise has always done a good job when it comes to special effects, making good use of the technology of the time. The environments are fascinating (though hard to see in the darkness most of the movie takes place in), and the CG effects are great as always. A few of the biological effects are a little cheesy, and reminiscent of the older Alien movies.

Story: 3 out of 5
  A lot is left unexplained (Prometheus 2, maybe?). It also follows pretty closely to the other Alien movies. Team arrives, team gets separated, team member does something stupid, team member gives "birth" to alien, most of the cast ends up dead. It's a little reused of a story arc at this point, but it still works.

Overall: 3 out of 5
  The effects are updated, but the story is similar to the other Alien movies. Having seen them first, this one is more of a nostalgic nod to the older movies. Still, if you liked the other movies this is just another way to watch the aliens make mincemeat out of scientists.

Toodles!

Garth Graham (garthft)

LET IT BE KNOWN. I don't only find art that has to do with League. True, that community generates a butt load of art (Good, bad, pornographic, and everything in-between), but I do also try to find artists creating other things. The internet is such a great place to discover art.

Alice in her own Wonderland (Very Suckerpunch-esk)

Garth Graham, or grathft as his screen name, makes some amazing alternate versions of Disney characters. His women are attractive in their own ways and have incredibly accurate attitudes for the characters, his men look like actual people instead of hulking muscle machines, and his non-human work is detailed and interesting to look at.

A guy with realistic hair and muscle structure. FINALLY

Beauty and her steam-powered Beast

I like to let artist's work speak for them, so this post will be fairly short. Check out Garth Graham (garthft) on Deviantart. He's got a bunch of alternate Disney pieces in addition to his other works. Definitely worth the snoop.

Toodles!

The (Short) Life of a Beard

I do apologize for my missing post last Monday. I know some of you basically only check in the read my more thoughtful posts on Mondays, so those readers kind of got shafted last week. My sincerest apologies, and thank you for coming back to read this week even though it's coming out a little late in the day. Today's post is also going to be super personal to me, like any time I talk about mental health issues. GIANT BLOCK OF TEXT INCOMING.

When people get really stressed out, there's a saying that can pop up from time to time, that they "want to tear my hair out in frustration". What a lot of people might not realize is that this is actually a legitimate reaction to stress for some. There is a disorder called Trichotillomania, which translates to a hair-pulling disorder. What does that actually mean?

When people with TTM feel stressed out, or sad, or bored (whatever their trigger is), they can have one of two reactions. One reaction is to unconsciously pull out their hairs, while the other is to be aware of the action and to feel satisfaction from the act. Commonly suffers of this disorder will pull out the hairs from the top of their head, eyebrows, or eyelashes, but any hair can suffice.

As far as self destructive disorders go, you might be thinking that pulling out a few hairs isn't that bad. At least you're not cutting yourself or breaking bones. TTM, like everything, affects different people to different degrees. Think about how long it might take someone to tweeze their eyebrows into the "perfect shape". More severe cases of TTM will literally pull every hair of their head, one at a time. Think how freaking long that would take. Some people will also bite or swallow the hairs they pull out, which can cause harmful buildups in their digestive track. The picking can also cause damage to the skin, as you can easily imagine. 

In our aesthetic society, having patchy hair or missing your eyebrows can be a terrible crime. Sufferers of TTM often feel great shame for what they do, and will try to hide it from other people, using wigs to cover up the results of their picking, or willingly shaving off any hair that remains after a session of pulling. It's terrible how our society treats people who look differently than the "norm", going so far as to shame people for it. It makes disorders like TTM such a difficult one to deal with, as the shame and emotional distress often leave people hiding their affliction, not reaching out for the help they need.

SO. Why am I writing about this? What the heck does this have to do with the life of a beard, or the random dude writing this blog?

You're clever people. You can put two and two together. I have a slight case of trichotillomania. Luckily for me, I do not pull out hairs on my head, or eyelashes. One upside of being a male is the fact that my face grows hair all the time. The downside is that I actually like having a beard. When I'm having a good day, I have a nice beard. When I'm stressed out, or really bored, or even just have the hair just a little bit too long, I absolutely destroy my beard. It turns into a really weird goatee-and-mutton-chop thing. I usually have to completely shave my beard off every few months just to reset the whole thing and hide the patches of pulled out hair. Having Style call me when I'm unconsciously pulling out hair has been helping, and I really do thank her for that. 

A Youtuber named Beckie0 has been incredibly public about having TTM. You can see a quick BBC coverage of her story below. Her Youtube page is here.

For some basic information about trichotillomania, click here.

Please people, the next time you see people that look a little different than what you expect, don't just immediately assume they chose to look that way. If they did, that's what they want, respect their choices. But keep in mind that some people are fighting things you couldn't possibly imagine. Some people suffer physically for their mental warfare. Don't be so quick to judge, and don't shame someone for their appearance. Be a better person than that. The world needs more people like that, people who are better, people who make being in public a social thing and a pleasant experience, not a gauntlet of shame and judgement.

Toodles!

Infusers // The Tea Ball

There are countless strains of tea and combinations of infusions out there. One thing that does stay fairly similar for most people is their selection of infusers with which to make their cups of awesome. The question is, which one do you use? Which kind is the best? For those who are only looking to make a single cup at a time and not break out the teapot (Why not? Call a friend and make more tea. JUST DO IT), infusers are an easy way to make the perfect amount of tea for a single  cup.

Let's start with a stereotypical infuser.

The tea ball. A lot of people new to the tea world will pick up one of these little dohickies as an afterthought once they finish their first purchasing experience. They're usually right next to the register, and only cost a few bucks. Let's be honest. You just dropped $60.00 on tea, what's another $3.00?  These little metal casings are a convenient size for most teas (oolongs and other large leaf teas may have some issues expanding to their full potential in them) and they are fairly easier to clean. Pop open the hinge, dump the used leaves into the compost, rinse, and make another cup. Easy enough right?

Well, that's when your problems arise with these buggers. They are usually advertised as stainless steel tea balls, which is partially true. The mesh is stainless steel, but a lot of the time the hinge components are made out of aluminum, which does not do well with being dunked into hot water and then left to air dry while you finish writing your next screenplay. If you've ever owned one of these little buggers (Or paid way more attention in chemistry than I did), you know that this means that the hinges will quickly rust, corroding away the important bits until the tea ball literally fall apart. Another cruddy part of this construct is that the mechanics required to open and close the hinge also creates a small space between the two halves, even when closed. For tea leaves, it's not that big of a deal. But if you prefer CTC tea over full leaf, or other herbal infusions like rooibos, a tea ball is going to leave all kinds of dregs in your cup.

GOOD THINGS

-Cheap $$

-Easy to clean

-Easy to acquire

-Keeps out most particulate from tea leaves

-Various sizes fit into more uniquely shaped teapots

BAD THINGS

-Cheaply made

-Components corrode

-Gaps allow a lot of dregs out

-Doesn't allow large leaves to expand

-Can be messy

All in all, if you're looking to buy a device to make tea, should you invest in a tea ball?

Let's ask the expert.

HE HAS SPOKEN

Toodles!