Expression

Time to try my hand at vlogging/Youtube/video stuff. Hopefully my poetry translates well into a visual medium...







Toodles!

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters

If you read up on the original stories for most fairytales, they're often incredibly gruesome, gory, sexual, disturbing, or just flat out weird. You can thank the Grimm brothers, two German authors with wicked imaginations and amazing research skills, for a lot of the stories (albeit the rated G versions) you grew up hearing.

Extra crispy

The movie gets off to a wonderfully dark start, with the two small children being left in the woods for "unknown reasons" (It's part of the story, just have patience for the movie). They stumble upon, of course, a house made of candy. The witch occupying the house is less than friendly, however. The children are captured and force-fed magical candy, and then escape their bounds. After stabbing, clubbing, and roasting their first witch, the children apparently decide to make this their hobby. With their parents missing and a fairly large chip on their shoulder, the children create a whole new career path. A few credit pages and a montage later, the children have grown up, killing witches all along the way. 

When you lose the first fight, get a bigger gun.

As adults, the two travel the world hunting witches with oddly advanced weaponry (Jeremy Renner loves his ranged weapons) and a mysterious immunity to the witches magic. They happen upon a town where children are being taken in larger numbers, conveniently arriving three days before a holy day to the witches. The town's sherrif is doing an abysmal job of finding the witches, wrongly accusing women and losing men to the search. The mayor hires the siblings to investigate the abductions and to try and find the children, assuming there's anything left of them. 

It's always nice to see characters that have flaws. It makes them more relatable. It's hard to get connected to a person who always does the right thing, who always succeeds in their missions. Hansel and Gretel does a nice job of showing the two improvising on their witch hunts, making mistakes, and having exploitable weaknesses (Apparently the candy that Hansel was forced to eat as a child basically gave him magical diabetes).

With the size of that needle, and the frequency of the injection, it's a surprise he even has any thigh left

Visual: 5 out of 5
  The witches look great in their true forms, very primal and evil in appearance. There's a large amount of combat gore (especially when the troll is involved) that is well done. The environment is also quite vivid, reminding me of scenery from The Hobbit or other fantasy settings. It fits quite well for a fairytale adaptation.

Story: 5 out of 5
  Flawed heroes, a memorable story from your childhood, cool action with guns, crossbows, and magic. There's even a couple of romantic hooks and a loveable sidekick.

Overall:
  Fairytale remakes are very hit or miss, usually divided by the amount of money the movie has to use. With this being a higher funded production, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters falls into the "hit" category. Definitely worth a watch.


Toodles!

Prometheus

The Alien franchise has always been one that I have enjoyed watching (Though the newer ones have fallen far from the originals). One problem with the collection of movies is that they have not been made in chronological order. Prometheus is the prequel of the series.

After discovering a series of ancient artifacts depicting tall beings and a cluster of stars, a team of scientists locate a distant moon in the cluster that could support life. An expedition is funded and the team is sent lightyears away from earth to find out what is so important on this moon.

A very nice example of the CG effects in the movie

That head may or may not be to scale...

Upon arrival, the team discovers a structure that does not appear to be natural (God doesn't make work in straight lines). The team begins exploring and piecing together the events that occurred before their arrival. Extreme weather ends up stranding members of the expedition inside of the strange structure for several hours, and their presence inside sets something into motion.

With their discoveries creating more questions than answers, events quickly begin to spiral out of control. The history of what happened on the moon is pieced together, and the crew becomes divided on what the course of action should be.

This is what happens when you mess with the air conditioning

Visual: 4 out of 5
  The Alien franchise has always done a good job when it comes to special effects, making good use of the technology of the time. The environments are fascinating (though hard to see in the darkness most of the movie takes place in), and the CG effects are great as always. A few of the biological effects are a little cheesy, and reminiscent of the older Alien movies.

Story: 3 out of 5
  A lot is left unexplained (Prometheus 2, maybe?). It also follows pretty closely to the other Alien movies. Team arrives, team gets separated, team member does something stupid, team member gives "birth" to alien, most of the cast ends up dead. It's a little reused of a story arc at this point, but it still works.

Overall: 3 out of 5
  The effects are updated, but the story is similar to the other Alien movies. Having seen them first, this one is more of a nostalgic nod to the older movies. Still, if you liked the other movies this is just another way to watch the aliens make mincemeat out of scientists.

Toodles!