Expression

Time to try my hand at vlogging/Youtube/video stuff. Hopefully my poetry translates well into a visual medium...







Toodles!

I Wrote This For You // The Dedication List

Not a whole lot to say beyond the poetry today. This one speaks well for itself, and speaks to the people who read my blog. Thank you for showing such an interest into my thoughts. I hope you find some meaning, entertainment, insight, or distraction from my ramblings.

*Reminder that I take no credit for this work. It does not belong to me, I did not make it, I make no claim to it other than the feelings it evokes in me.

Toodles!

I Wrote This For You // The Time It Takes to Fall

Far to often, people (including myself) forget to enjoy the things in their life as they are. We focus too much on getting to the next thing, another pastime, a deeper connection. By doing this, we miss what's right in front of us, we miss the beauty of what we already have. I've been trying to make adjustments to my life for the better over this last year, and one of the big things I've been focusing on is enjoying my life in the now. Having something might hurt later if/when it leaves, but that doesn't make the experience any less meaningful. I'll take the pain of loss over the numbness of not having anything. Loving and hurting makes life much more worthwhile than to sit in fear, to not strive for anything because you're afraid of failure. Or rejection. Or loss. Or pain. Nothing is guaranteed, positive or negative. So why not strive for happiness, and accept what happens because of it? You either remain happy, or you dust yourself off, see what you've learned, and have a new story to tell.

I'm taking pictures of the book of poetry I'm taking quotes from instead of simply typing them out. Part of poetry is the form in which it is presented, so my typing wasn't giving it the justice it deserved. There is a copy of the book that doesn't include the photos, but my copy includes them. So now Saturday quotes shall be a little larger, with direct pictures from I Wrote This For You.

*Reminder that I take no credit for this work. It does not belong to me, I did not make it, I make no claim to it other than the feelings it evokes in me.

Toodles!

I Wrote This For You // The First Sign is Taking Strange Pictures

*Language warning today

It's interesting how by attaching a word to something can completely change how it is  perceived. Two people sitting on a couch watching Netflix sounds normal. Call it a relationship, and suddenly that evening could be a date. An evening of sex with someone could be fucking or it could be making love, both have different imagery attached. Someone will fiercely defend whether they are a geek or a nerd.

Attaching words to things has a certain power about it. As someone who loves to write, the words people choose when they write or speak is incredibly interesting to me.


The First Sign is Taking Strange Pictures

I have pretended to go mad in order to tell you things I need to. I call it art. Because art is the word we give to our feelings made public. And art doesn't worry anyone.

*Reminder that I take no credit for this work. It does not belong to me, I did not make it, I make no claim to it other than the feelings it evokes in me.

Toodles!

I Wrote This For You // The Song Across Wires

The "baggage" that people carry around with them, their history, is something that for some reason has become kind of negative aspect. That the choices that made them precisely who they are today are somehow a burden for the people they let into their lives. Being a mess doesn't make you messy, it makes you unique. No matter how many times you spill milk on the floor, it'll never look the exact same twice. The real trick to dealing with your past is to find people who accept you for who you are, not who you used to be. That old version of you is important, for sure, they grew into the current you. But remember which one of them you live as. You can dwell on the old one, as the current one stands still in life. Or you can live as you are, and be able to look back at the footsteps that you've made up to this point, and the paths ahead waiting for you to step there.

The Song Across Wires

I'm a picture without a frame.

A poem without a rhyme.

A car with three tires.

A sun without fire.

I am a gun without bullets.

I am the truth without someone to hear it.

I am a feeling without someone to feel it.

This is who I am.

A mess without you.

Something beautiful with you.

*Reminder that I take no credit for this work. It does not belong to me, I did not make it, I make no claim to it other than the feelings it evokes in me.

Toodles!

I Wrote This For You // The Heart Rides On

Being in a long distance relationship isn't easy. Like seriously, for two people that are very physical in nature, long distance is freakin' hard. But I can focus on the time we've already spent together, and use those memories to weather the time between visits.



The Heart Rides On

I love you. I love your eyes. I love your smell. I love your hair. I love your laugh. I love your skin. I love everything inside you. And I'll try to make all the parts that I find, happy.

Because you make me happy. So much.



*Reminder that I take no credit for this work. It does not belong to me, I did not make it, I make no claim to it other than the feelings it evokes in me.

Toodles!

I Wrote This For You // The Corner of Me and You

By now everyone who reads this blog should be very aware that I am a romantic, and I take my shot at being poetic when the mood strikes me. An old acquaintance  of mine reminded me that in order to become a better writer, it was necessary to read. Over this past (eventful) summer, I bought two books of poetry, entitled I Wrote This For You and I Wrote For You and Only You. Both of these books contain a number of beautiful, anonymous pieces of poetry. They vary in length from be only a line to taking up the entire page. Because Saturdays don't currently have a theme on my blog, I have decided to post chosen works out of the books.

The Corner of Me and You

I don't know if you felt that or not.

But it felt like two people kissing after hours of thinking about it.

It felt like two people talking after nights of silence.

It felt like two people touching after weeks of being numb.

It felt like two people facing each other after months of looking away.

It felt like two people in love after years of being alone.

And it felt like two people meeting each other, after an entire lifetime of not meeting each other.



*Reminder that I take no credit for this work. It does not belong to me, I did not make it, I make no claim to it other than the feelings it evokes in me.

Toodles!

Looking at You

I've been in a very poetic mood these last couple of weeks. For those who enjoy reading it, awesome, I'm always open to input. For those who don't, sorry, but suck it up. You're still reading, so you must be doing okay. I appreciate all my readers, whether they like each post or not. Anyway, Monday posts should be swapping back and forth between poetry and more perspective writings, like before.

BUT, for now, there is poetry to be done. I have a muse, so I shall use the inspiration.


Looking at You

I look at you

I see all the needs you ask of me

Just the brush of a hand

Against your hand, your leg, your cheek, anywhere with skin

To lock your fingers inbetween mine

Even when we fight over who's thumb goes on top

Wordlessly begging for a kiss

Your eyes widen then close,your head tilts

I see the pain too

A kind act, received with confusion

You were skeptical of my generosity

A tight embrace, trying to hide the whimper

You didn't want to let go

A warm smile, causes you sadness

You grow accustomed to being happy, you don't want to lose it

I see you watching me

An inquisitive quirk, an eyebrow raised

You question my expressions, seeking their causes

An adorable giggle, a full laugh

You enjoy my flusters, especially when you cause them 

The smallest of smiles, gentle but apparent

Sometimes you simple like to look

And while I watch you looking at me, I wonder.

Do you see what I see in you?
Do you see those things in me?



Toodles!

A Beautiful Ghost

Some of my thoughts from the last week. The things that you think of when you miss that one person.


A Beautiful Ghost

You're not here with me

So why do I look for you?

I see you in the things around me

But can never find you attached to them

I can almost hear your laugh

Almost see you turn the corner just ahead of me

It's like I'm always just a few seconds late

I look up, expecting to drown in those blue eyes

Only to see an empty seat

Why do months pass without a thought?

Why do days drag into eternity?

You've told me you hate the ghosts of this place

But now you're one of them

And I would burn the world to keep the spectres here

You're not here with me

But soon, I won't be either

And then I'll see you again



Toodles!

The Heart

The heart is a muscle

The most vital of vitals

Ceaseless until forever quieted

A simple set of motions

Crucial to all others

And yet

The heart is so much more

The heart is alive

It yearns 

It breaks

It heals

It speaks

It hides

It questions

It answers

The heart is a tattoo

The marks, permanent

Created through pain

Expressive, a thing of beauty

It can be individual, unique 

It can be a copy, a passing fad

Not every one is easy to understand

The meaning behind it's shape

It's placement

It's colour

Could be more than you could every understand

The heart is a coin

Try your luck

One choice or another

Flipping it covers one face

But that doesn't mean it's not still there

You long for one option the moment it hit the air

It doesn't always land on the side you really wanted

Even if it may be hard to pick up off the ground afterwards

You can always choose to flip again

When you feel ready

The heart is a box

Some are locked

Or chained down by terrible weight

It can be filled with treasures, or sadly empty

Housing such agonizing joy

Such delicious pain

The heart is a beast

Many faced

It is a lion 

With a terrible bite and harsh tone

It is a porcupine

Withdrawn within itself, only to hurt those nearby

It is a tortoise

Defending through solitude, an unbreakable, unreadable wall

It is a fawn

Speaking only the softest of words, it is delicate, and loving

The governing face, constantly shifting

Constantly combining with another aspect

An everchanging beast

The heart is a muscle

But it is so much more

The Social Antisocial

Being an introvert makes life…interesting. I value my personal time, My hobbies are my passion, and I have a hard time enjoying new activities that I didn’t decide to pursue.

Simultaneously, I love spending my personal time with others, meeting people with similar hobbies, and discovering things that I normally wouldn't have thought to try.

Another paradoxical part of me is how my personal space fluctuates. Depending on the situation and the people involved, I can either have no bubble whatsoever and love physical contact, or absolutely despise having people near me. I developed a curious tick when I was younger. Having people that I don't implicitly trust standing behind me makes me physically uncomfortable, to the point where I will shiver and have to turn to at least see them in my peripheral vision. My best guess is that it came from many years of being beat up, and I can't shake it now.

Anyway, being socially antisocial is something I've come to realize a lot of people I know also feel. It's the need to be around people, to know that you're not alone. It's simultaneously the need to not have people interact with you, to have them leave you to your thoughts. Sometimes this also involves being left physically alone, other times it requires immense amounts of cuddling. If you learn how to read the small signs in these odd people, you can make their lives much better. You'll know when to give them a hug, a light touch on the shoulder, or when to sit next to them, a foot away, on the opposite side of the room. It varies, sorry, people aren't an exact science (no matter how much I would love them to be sometimes).

One thing to take away from this as well is to find out if you are a physical contact type of person. There are more of us out there than you think, and we really want you to hug us. There's literally nothing sexual in it unless you want there to be, but we really want that skin contact. 

A lifelong book

Reading subtle texts

Each twist and turn portraying an idea

Each twist and turn hiding an emotion

Easily shown

Easily misread

The mass of information is overwhelming

To learn to read

An invaluable skill

To finish just one takes a lifetime

A face makes for the greatest book

Toodles!

An Older Thought, Renewed

Coming up with something profound to write about each Monday can prove to be a bit of a challenge. After a long day at work and a rough day for the people close to me, I find myself lacking the inspiration to find something new to write. Instead, I'll revisit something older. I recently found a piece of poetry that I wrote years ago. After reading it again, I tweaked it slightly and found it to be oddly accurate to my current situation with Kitten.

Each night I lay here

Having one sided conversations

Posing questions without answers.

My daily monotony fills my head

I yearn to hear your voice

Hearing mine makes you pout.

All I have are fleeting moments

A handful of pixels

An armful of air.

I sit at night writing

Hoping my rambling makes you smile. 

I curse the same system I rely on

For not bringing back your words

Your voice

Your smile. 

All I know is that while I lay here

Thinking of questions for the air in my arms,

I hope you lie there, having one sided conversations.

Toodles!