The Secret List

Some of you may recall The List from the beginning of the summer. You may also recall that the list was discontinued because people tried to get on it. Little did anyone know, the list continues to be compiled, in secret. Work returned to normal, but the gears continued to move. 

I give you:

THE SECRET LIST

-I can't believe that came out like that

-Did you lick them?
-I might as well have

-Oh, don't touch me there. Don't rip that off. 

-Oh she can stack it. She can stack it high.

-He got it all over me.
-I can't control it. I got some on myself too.
-His aim is terrible.
-Yeah, it's awful.

-I don't like this. What are you doing to me? STOP...

Internationally Collected

-Why would you do that? I'm very sensitive...

-Did I squirt enough?

-Everything you touch breaks.
-That's my demon.

-He likes it a bit. I think...

-I'm not big enough to do this

-Get me something else to drink! That was god-awful!

-I'm not perky?
-You're wearing a bra.

-This doesn't happen when you're not watching!

-Oh no, it's too thick

-Why would it do that?
-Because you pulled it too far

-I made 'em really soft

-I wanna teabag your tray

-It doesn't do anything for me.
-But it tastes good

*insert finger here and pull back*

-It kind of destroys my mouth

-DON'T TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS

-I open my mouth and things come out

-That must have been before I came, I don't remember it

-I think I flung it too hard, and it just came out. 

-Bring it, I'll just eat it

-My hands are all sticky

-There's a bang, someone says my name, and then it's done. 

-Now scream for it

-I try to be sweet and innocent.
-There's where you're going wrong.

-Of course, the one box I'm not looking at. 

-You're a little on the small size. 

-Deal with my box

Hard to get quotes when everyone has gone home

-Does it stand up on its own?

-She's cheap and she's easy

-I'll tape you down later

-Those are NOT my elbows

-Never mind, I don't want to finish

-We're putting out dry 

-I'm gonna fling my juices at you 

-It squirts at you

-You're such a little butt muncher.
-Yes I am

-Stupid tiny jugs.
-Don't you just hate tiny jugs?
-Yeah, you can't do anything with them.

-Oh, I love going hard. I LOVE going hard

-I choke. They tell me to open my throat, but I can't. 

-I don't think it's going to be that big of a load

-Oh my god, it's really long

-Just go ahead and pop your head in

-You're not bouncing with me, you're just bouncing against me

-Arm getting tired?
-No, my hand hurts.

-I want to see it! Show it to me!

-But then I'd have to turn it weird when I'm putting it in

-This is America! Of course colour matters!

-I guess I passed out sometime during that interaction with myself. 

-It's just gonna fall off, it'll be easy

-It was hot and sticky and I didn't want it touching me

-I guess I can't talk and spread at the same time. 

-Gus is always open. Always watching...

-Sorry dude, I have clean hands.
-When you have dirty hands, come find me.

-In the freezer, no one can hear you scream. 

-What time does the bang bang start?

-I didn't know! It was my first time!



And with that, The List comes to a close for the year. Thanks to everyone who took part, and was a good sport about it. I hope this has given some of you a smile

Possibly the last time this shot can happen. Rest well, Towers

Toodles!

Krazy Kitchen Kaptures

Like in a kitchen is hard work, to say the least. But there are also many moments of hilarity, frustration, and just plain old confusion. Here's a few moments from the craziness I call home right now.  

The struggle that occurs multiple times a day: Apron Knots

Dish pit boredom at its finest. DON'T leave the dish monkeys alone with nothing to do...

Hairnets are so last season

When the most beautiful rack of trays is immediately followed by OCD hell

🎼 Do you wanna build a snowman? 🎶

Meet the freezer after a shipment arrived. This is a small shipment.

Just remember, be nice to your kitchen staff, we have chocolate snowmen. And a lot of bleach...

Toodles!

Box Man

Earlier this week, for three days the kitchen was running on one of our two hot water heaters. While one giant water heater is enough to run all the sinks and taps in the building, it cannot handle our industrial sized dishwasher, (who had been loving dubbed Enrique many years before I began working here). So the dish monkeys have been washing the dishes without the aid of Enrique and his wonderful, magical cleansing cycle. All. The dishes. That's over 400 complete sets of cutlery, trays, cups, and bowls at every meal. Don't even get me started on how much I hate oatmeal. This also doesn't factor in the dishes created through food prep and cooking.

Needless to say, the dish monkeys are a little tired. And extremely loopy. One broke down into hysterical laughter for a good minute. Another teared up and hugged EVERYONE when they discovered we were using disposable plates for the one meal.

Last week brought the world "The List". This week, I bring you the next evolution of bored kitchen workers: Box Man.

There's a face on the box, you just can't see it.

A small attempt at moving (Hopping was the only option) left Box Man helpless.

And then Box Man freed his inner child.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life takes away your dishwasher, shove a coworker into a box and watch him fall over.

Toodles!

Kitchen Life

For those of you who are looking for this week's List (capital letter intended), I do apologize. I have been asked to not continue it, and shall respect their wishes. In place of the quotes, today I'll be talking about life in the kitchen, from the view of a lowly dish monkey.

The day begins absurdly early, shambling around in the dark while alarm clocks and backup alarm clocks go off. After finding clothes that I don't mind getting bleach stains on, a mug of tea is thrown together on the way out the door. The weather at the time ranges from sunshine to rain to insanely thick fog. 

After stumbling into the kitchen (sometimes face first into a locked door), the daily process of washing hands, finding an apron, and donning a colourful chef's hat takes place. Duties are distributed, coffee or tea is consumed by all, and we become functional humans again.

After cleaning up from the meal, the next one is prepped. Singing, grumbling, and innuendo all fill the air, and the procedure is repeated for the next meal.

Good days involve breaks to see the sun, while less productive days lead to 12-13 hours of work. Afterwards, we all meander back to shower, then spend the evening around the people we just saw. 

Every day brings new jokes, different issues, and a few stages of community that takes other departments weeks to cycle through. In the end, we all are one weird, loving family. And the best kind of family: one with access to cookie dough. 

Toodles!