Coming up with something profound to write about each Monday can prove to be a bit of a challenge. After a long day at work and a rough day for the people close to me, I find myself lacking the inspiration to find something new to write. Instead, I'll revisit something older. I recently found a piece of poetry that I wrote years ago. After reading it again, I tweaked it slightly and found it to be oddly accurate to my current situation with Kitten.
Each night I lay here
Having one sided conversations
Posing questions without answers.
My daily monotony fills my head
I yearn to hear your voice
Hearing mine makes you pout.
All I have are fleeting moments
A handful of pixels
An armful of air.
I sit at night writing
Hoping my rambling makes you smile.
I curse the same system I rely on
For not bringing back your words
Your voice
Your smile.
All I know is that while I lay here
Thinking of questions for the air in my arms,
I hope you lie there, having one sided conversations.
It's amazing how music can affect so many aspects of your life. A number of years ago, I was dating a girl and I listened to an artist all the time when she was around. I'd sing along with the songs for her. She'd sing to me too, but was fairly tone deaf. It was hard to listen to as a music student. Regardless, I had built up the association between our relationship and the songs. When we broke up, I couldn't listen to them without thinking of her, so I stopped listening to the artist all together.
Now, a number of years and relationships later, I began listening to the artist again. My past associations with it have decayed, and I can begin creating new connections with Kitten. The artist is question is Joshua Radin.
I was first introduced to Joshua Radin by my sibling, when they sent me his song, "No Envy, No Fear". It's a very mellow piece that talks about seeing the pain in others, particularly family, and helping them through it. Looking back at it all, it's a very appropriate song for the two of us.
Joshua Radin has a very laid back sound, his vocal register is easily within reach for my own voice (he's a baritone), and his lyrics are beautifully chosen. The accompaniment is light, usually just a guitar or two, some percussion, and a chill drumset.
The fact that I listen to his music while working in the kitchen is a feat in itself, considering how loud that environment is. But Joshua Radin's music helps me to calm down after a stressful situation, and to make me think of Kitten. That always makes me smile.
If you're looking for some relaxed music to listen to, and maybe make you tear up a little, give Joshua Radin a listen.
Tea has become an incredibly important part of my life. It changes my mood when I need to calm down, when I need to relax, when I'm feeling happy or fulfilled. It remains ever changing, and I constantly learn new things about it.
How you handle tea and treat the leaves makes all the difference in the world. Some can handle extremely intense temperatures, while others require a much more delicate treatment. Timing and attention is very important, otherwise it can become unpleasant or at the very least, not fulfilling the potential you can get from it. Some teas require a very precise or constant attention, some require time to cool down, while others are much more forgiving, or simply easy to enjoy.
People develop their own personal tastes for tea over time, preferring one kind over another. Some people never find that one tea that they love, some change their taste as time progresses, while others choose one and stick with it throughout their life.
This post may seem a little different than my normally detailed posts on tea. The reason behind this is because Kitten jokingly challenged me to compare tea to relationships. I'm always looking to evolve as a writer, so I took the joke as a goal. So now go back to the beginning, and reread this post, replacing references to tea to your preferred gender(s) of significant other.
I do apologize to my readers that haven't been posting on my regular schedule. Between the insane work hours, and talking to a pretty girl, my posting has definitely suffered.
Speaking of a pretty girl, I smile like a complete idiot when I talk to her. That grin is the topic of today's post. The difference in my mood has been huge since I started talking with this girl (I'll call her Kitten, for the sake of giving her a name on the Internet). I can have an absolutely abysmal day, but two seconds into a Skype call with Kitten has me smiling and laughing.
This isn't a post intended to be a bragging thing. I simply want to illustrate the impact that having a reason to smile can have. It might be a book you love, a video game, a cup of tea, a person who understands how your brain works. It's different for everyone, but there's something out there that never fails to make you smile. If you know what that thing is, make sure you hold onto it, and treat it well. You never know when something will happen and you might lose it. If you haven't found that foolproof source of a smile, don't give up. You might go for quite some time without a genuine smile source, but you'll find it. Trust me.
This might not be as profound as some of my other Monday posts, but it certainly an important one. Figure out what makes you happy, and do it. It's better to enjoy your life and embrace the pain of loss afterwards, than to sit in fear of being hurt and not enjoying anything.
Find your reason. It's there. It might seem small, but it's huge to you, and that's what matters.
