I do apologize for my missing post last Monday. I know some of you basically only check in the read my more thoughtful posts on Mondays, so those readers kind of got shafted last week. My sincerest apologies, and thank you for coming back to read this week even though it's coming out a little late in the day. Today's post is also going to be super personal to me, like any time I talk about mental health issues. GIANT BLOCK OF TEXT INCOMING.
When people get really stressed out, there's a saying that can pop up from time to time, that they "want to tear my hair out in frustration". What a lot of people might not realize is that this is actually a legitimate reaction to stress for some. There is a disorder called Trichotillomania, which translates to a hair-pulling disorder. What does that actually mean?
When people with TTM feel stressed out, or sad, or bored (whatever their trigger is), they can have one of two reactions. One reaction is to unconsciously pull out their hairs, while the other is to be aware of the action and to feel satisfaction from the act. Commonly suffers of this disorder will pull out the hairs from the top of their head, eyebrows, or eyelashes, but any hair can suffice.
As far as self destructive disorders go, you might be thinking that pulling out a few hairs isn't that bad. At least you're not cutting yourself or breaking bones. TTM, like everything, affects different people to different degrees. Think about how long it might take someone to tweeze their eyebrows into the "perfect shape". More severe cases of TTM will literally pull every hair of their head, one at a time. Think how freaking long that would take. Some people will also bite or swallow the hairs they pull out, which can cause harmful buildups in their digestive track. The picking can also cause damage to the skin, as you can easily imagine.
In our aesthetic society, having patchy hair or missing your eyebrows can be a terrible crime. Sufferers of TTM often feel great shame for what they do, and will try to hide it from other people, using wigs to cover up the results of their picking, or willingly shaving off any hair that remains after a session of pulling. It's terrible how our society treats people who look differently than the "norm", going so far as to shame people for it. It makes disorders like TTM such a difficult one to deal with, as the shame and emotional distress often leave people hiding their affliction, not reaching out for the help they need.
SO. Why am I writing about this? What the heck does this have to do with the life of a beard, or the random dude writing this blog?
You're clever people. You can put two and two together. I have a slight case of trichotillomania. Luckily for me, I do not pull out hairs on my head, or eyelashes. One upside of being a male is the fact that my face grows hair all the time. The downside is that I actually like having a beard. When I'm having a good day, I have a nice beard. When I'm stressed out, or really bored, or even just have the hair just a little bit too long, I absolutely destroy my beard. It turns into a really weird goatee-and-mutton-chop thing. I usually have to completely shave my beard off every few months just to reset the whole thing and hide the patches of pulled out hair. Having Style call me when I'm unconsciously pulling out hair has been helping, and I really do thank her for that.
A Youtuber named Beckie0 has been incredibly public about having TTM. You can see a quick BBC coverage of her story below. Her Youtube page is here.
For some basic information about trichotillomania, click here.
Please people, the next time you see people that look a little different than what you expect, don't just immediately assume they chose to look that way. If they did, that's what they want, respect their choices. But keep in mind that some people are fighting things you couldn't possibly imagine. Some people suffer physically for their mental warfare. Don't be so quick to judge, and don't shame someone for their appearance. Be a better person than that. The world needs more people like that, people who are better, people who make being in public a social thing and a pleasant experience, not a gauntlet of shame and judgement.
Toodles!
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